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Adye moistened his lips again. He glanced away from the barrel of the revolver and saw the sea far off very blue and dark under the midday sun, the smooth green down, the white cliff of the Head, and the multitudinous town, and suddenly he knew that life was very sweet. His eyes came back to this little metal thing hanging between heaven and earth, six yards away. “What am I to do?” he said sullenly.
H.G. Wells, The Invisible Man; I read this and was agape. With such profound ease this simple single paragraph set in motion such a chain reaction within my mind of pictures and feelings and ideas.

Sadness is such in instrumental part of our lives. We would not be who we are, without sadness and pain. We sometimes grow, change and completely alter our perceptions of ourselves or those around us, completely altering how we live and even who we are. Sadness, depression and paid; is sometimes the only thing strong enough to make us do those changes. Our tears water the soul.

Tonight, I having such strong memories of things that happened in the past. As if I am there. I can smell grass and mushrooms on my grandma’s lawn one of the last times I saw my father, I feel the warm sun and breezy air touching my skin. Flash forward, I can feel my tired legs and see colored blue light and orange horizon over the foliage at the beach, hearing the ocean roar in the background. My sister and younger brother came to visit, 5 minutes later, we snapped a pictures that had our family all together, the sunset in the background, it was amazing. My mind moves again, I am in the bedroom of a house, I’m wearing a stiff jacket, my heart is hurting, my chest is heavy and my eyes are shiny with tears, my vision blurred, it is cold and grey outside. I fall to my knees, my face is held and the tears are wiped from them, I can feel the warm hands on my face, the soft fingers wiping away tears as they cry too.

I’ve made it this far, there’s been so much to learn, I’ll make it to the end. Whatever end that might be, Sooner or later; though I feel, sooner, rather than later. They say we don’t know when we will die. I knew it was once my day to die, but something happened, something changed and I didn’t. I felt the spirits around me, I was too die that day. It was a gift to live a little more. Like my birth, tubes and needles, but I made it. An extension. I’m not done learning what I need to yet. I’m getting closer though, then I will go home. There are people who have needed me here, and I needed them. I needed them more than anyone will ever know.

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